As the head of my company's human resources department it's my
job to make sure that our applicants not only have the right
experience and skills but also the ability to handle the extreme
pressures that comes with the job. Now I realize most of you
will be looking at me with a lustful eye given my provocative
attire but that's all part of the pressure test. It doesn't
take too much effort to convince potential male employees to
stick their heads between my thighs when showing them off in
this insanely short mini-skirt and high heels. It's like
watching a moth fly into the flame. They know it's dangerous
and they're going to get burnt but with legs like mine who can
blame them?
And so is the case with my latest interviewee...Mr. Grabowski.
He's all excited given his background and education and figures
he's a shoe-in for the position. But there's one position I
have to make sure he can handle first and that's the position of
his head between my powerful quads!
I like to start by looking at my potential employees right in
the eye as I begin to turn up the pressure. So that's where I
start Mr. Grabowski pulling him into a front head scissors while
sitting on my desk. I gotta make sure he's not the type to fall
asleep on the job you know! Although Mr. Grabowski manages to
keep his eyes open I can tell he's about to give up already, and
our interview has only just begun! So I decide to see if he can
take it while lying on his back and move onto phase two of our
test...standing reverse head scissors combined with
butt-crunches! Unfortunately for Mr. Grabowski this is where he
starts to quickly break down!
Now it's time for me to tell you a little secret about myself.
Sometimes I feel guilty to even call this a job because truth be
told...I love this part of the interview. You know...the point
in which I realize there's no way this guy has what it takes to
handle the PRESSURE but instead of promptly ending the interview
I decide to nearly end his life! I'm a bit of a sadist to say
the least and love watching men suffer! I suppose that's what
makes me perfect for this job.
It's kind of funny how we've been trying to fill this position
for the past 3 years but haven't found anyone, including Mr.
Grabowski, who can survive these thunderous thighs.
So who's next!?
Who wants to step-up and finally pass Skylar's HIGH PRESSURE
Interview!? |
